Long-time readers of the Pearl of the Day know today’s Pearl to be true, but a little reinforcement is a good thing. If you’re new to the Pearl, this is a great time of the year to experience this message. Yesterday I walked into a meeting and one of the participants was about as unfriendly and dour as you will see. She was overweight, had some unfortunate facial pigmentation issues, and her personal presentation was not good. I very quickly attributed her attitude to a weakened self-esteem.

Here is what I did throughout the day to show her that I cared about her as a human being. Remember, the first principle of Outfluence is to focus on the needs of other people with whom you come into contact before focusing on your own needs. It can be as simple as acknowledging them with a few kind words and a nice smile. So the first thing that I did was stand, walk up to her, offer my hand and my smile and I introduced myself.

Throughout the day whenever she spoke or I had interaction with her directly I looked her in the eye, focused only on her and treated her as an equal. I respected her. I did my best to offer humor, most of it self-deprecating. By the end of our time together, I was able to coax a beautiful smile out of her that lit up her eyes. If she learns to lead with her appealing smile and sparkling eyes, her imperfections (which she will notice we all have) will give way to the light of her countenance.

Life signs – look for the opposite silent message in the signs. Where the outward sign says unfriendly, the silent sign may be poor self-esteem. That triggers the need for Outfluence.

The scene reminded my son Matt of The Ant Attack, a Tom and Jerry cartoon http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaDS6lxPGYs&feature=related. I was walking on the track at McDaniel College in Westminster, Maryland. There were the usual half-dozen other walkers/joggers on the track with me. The track sits down in a bowl and it’s surrounded by a campus driveway. The area between the track and the driveway is a grassy hill. While walking I was listening to music on my iPhone. As I came around the turn in the track facing the main entrance, I mindlessly looked up and was shocked by what I saw.

About 150 high school girls dressed in athletic gear and carrying lacrosse sticks were streaming down the driveway, over the hill, across the track and onto the football field. It was an interesting image. I saw the girls as they had the entire landscape filled. It looked like a military exercise.

My experience with the lacrosse-playing high-schoolers was a pleasant reminder of the importance of awareness. While enjoying free time away from the pressures of life and enhancing that freedom with easy access to music, we can easily lose track of our surroundings and be shocked back into reality. The girls taught me to keep my head up and keep an eye on what’s happening around me.

April 2, 2010, we received notice that JoongAng Daily, a South Korean newspaper, printed a review of Outfluence, The Better Way to Influence, under the heading “The Big Idea.” What a thrill it is for us to receive international recognition for our book. Thank you, JoongAng.

Kay Betz, President of Outfluence, LLC, was interviewed today by famed MPT Host Reah Feiken. They talked about communication programs, particularly those programs aimed at teens and young adults.

Al Betz will lead a teleseminar for National Court Reporters Association members on July 29 beginning at 8:30 p.m.

Al has been invited to the State of Washington to speak to the Washington Court Reporters Association October 8-10, 2010.