Outfluence in the Sales Environment IV

Outfluence is a communication model that emphasizes an others-focus along with awareness of our personal silent communication, the silent communication of others, and a commitment to inspired performance. This series on Outfluence in a Sales Environment will address building trust with a customer. Review the initial article in the series to learn why we are focusing on trust.

In part IV of this series we are going to explore the interesting process Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones uses to silently communicate with certain of his players. I will also give you an idea or two on the subject of expressing friendliness to customers.

I was having trouble sleeping one night so I went downstairs to watch TV for a while. I stopped the channel changer when it got to a program about the National Football League. The focus of the show was on the pre-season and how teams handled the inevitable release of players who did not make the team. The Dallas Cowboys and team owner Jerry Jones were being featured.

Here’s the scene: Mr. Jones and his then-coach entered an office. Waiting for them was a player. The coach took a seat behind a huge desk. Mr. Jones moved to the front of the desk, pulled up a chair and sat right next to the player. Wow! Instantly I knew what he was doing. He was displaying empathy for the player. He was silently telling his player even though we’re here to deliver bad news I care about you and your future. In fact, Mr. Jones told the player that because of the way the player conducted himself during camp, Mr. Jones would do everything he could to help him catch on with another team.

But what was the most important silent communicator Jerry Jones used during that meeting? Did you catch it? Yes, that’s right, he removed that big obstacle to communication and to trust – the desk.

Have you ever been in a meeting with someone and you were on one side of the desk and he or she was on the other? That separation of 3 or 4 feet means a lot, doesn’t it? That big block of wood makes it more difficult to have eye contact, it represents me versus you, it sends the message from the employer to the employee “I don’t want to get too close to you,” it causes the conversation to be just a little bit louder. When we’re up close we can speak more softly, more gently, more personally. We have a better opportunity to say what we really feel. That desk sends a subtle silent message of intimidation.

It was very interesting to watch that real-life situation play itself out. Mr. Jones turned a potentially tense meeting into a productive conversation that left both sides feeling good in the end. In a trusting relationship both parties feel good about each other.

Mr. Jones spoke to his player/employee just as he would a friend. Here are two ideas for expressing friendliness to a customer or a prospect whom you want to turn into a friend. A simple gesture such as a sincere compliment is always appreciated. Make your compliment sincere by taking the time to notice everything you can about the object of your compliment. Is she wearing a unique piece of jewelry? Has he been featured in a local newspaper story about his new position? Has a family member been honored recently? When your compliment reflects the fact that you are paying attention to details and not simply commenting on peripheral things, the compliment has more meaning to the recipient.

Another simple but highly important element to expressing friendliness is focus. Empathy is evident in focus and empathy helps us connect with customers and prospects. The components of focus are: Stop, Look and Listen . . . Stop what you’re doing and pay attention to the person in front of you. Look them in the eye, smile appropriately, and Listen carefully.

For more information on any of the topics in this series visit our seminars page. Also, register today for what is sure to be a sold out event on May 10^th in New Windsor, Maryland – it’s our workshop on Encore Selling™.

When you stop back next week you will learn what the aspects of a courteous nature are. Courtesy is one of the building blocks leading to trust. Until then, go out and inspire today with great salesmanship!