We have been focusing the recent Pearl of the Week on issues of stress in preparation for the release of our next e-book this Fall, Outfluence for Positive Stress.

According to the book Leadership in Action published by Harper Collins, “life is full of stressors that can stimulate, energize, and add zest.  We call the constructive dimensions of stress enstress, which can enhance, enrich, and be a powerful motivator.”

Enstress is positive because it is stress that pushes you to perform at or a little above your ability but never beyond your ability.  Distress, on the other hand, is negative and destructive when it overwhelms your ability to perform. 

For some people technology is a definite stressor, and in many cases causes distress.  Technology can be overwhelming because its advancements change our performance requirements. 

Athletes experience enstress at the beginning of their careers and distress at the end of their careers.  Early in their careers when their bodies are strong, their agility is at its peak, and their energy is high, they feel invincible.  But as the years accumulate so do the infirmities that sap their strength, slow their response time, and steal their competitive edge.  For some athletes, the stress of trying to stay competitive is overwhelming and the end of their career comes unexpectedly as their ability to perform is suddenly upon them. 

What are the signs that we are moving from the stimulation of enstress to the frustration of distress?  Here are a few of the signs:  1, it’s not fun anymore.  If the challenge of your job has become a burden, you may be moving from stimulative stress to destructive stress.  A job with a lower but livable wage, according to Leadership in Action, that is interesting and stimulating is preferable to a higher paying position that pushes us into distress.  

2, if the energy required to perform in your job or in your daily routine at home feels beyond you physically and mentally, that may be a sign that you are lacking in sleep and solitude.  A vigorous lifestyle needs time to rest and recover in order to maintain enstress.

3, going through tough times without an outlet can be debilitating.  Interaction with supportive friends during stressful times is what helps to keep us healthy, happy, and in enstress.  Prioritize close relationships. 

Don’t allow yourself to be pushed from a position of enstress, where your life is in balance and under control, to distress.  Among the skills necessary to achieve a consistent state of enstress are self- confidence, discipline, goal-setting, and an others-focus.  Another important skill that I want to emphasize is awareness of silent communication.  You are bombarded with information, most of it trying to sell you something or influence you to behave in a certain way.  Carelessness in your response to this bombardment will result in poor decisions, leading to devastating consequences.  I recommend that you develop a personal mission statement for your life, and share it with your closest friends.  Give them the freedom to tell you when it appears that you are deviating from your mission.    

My wife does a good job of keeping me on my mission to maintain a steady weight.  “Are you sure you want to do that,” she asks, as I reach for a gallon of ice cream in the grocery store.  “Why don’t you buy a few of the small cups of ice cream.  That way you can exercise portion control.”  And she’s right.  If I have that whole gallon in front of me, I will be more likely to overeat.  Gentle reminders, without being judgmental, effect decisions that keep me on mission.  Having a mission and giving close friends the freedom to comment on your decisions promotes enstress.  You eliminate awkwardness, you eliminate misunderstandings, your communication is direct and genuine, and your friendships are closer.  Try it in your life.  Enstress living is a good thing.

For more information on this topic or to consult with an Outfluence personal development coach, call 888-881-1660 or e-mail us at info@outfluence.com. Until next week . . .  inspire today!

Al Betz is being profiled as an inspiring speaker at  http://bit.ly/o5GDrD.  He can be booked at that location or more directly at 888-861-1660, or at al.betz@outfluence.com.

Date:  September 13, 2011.

Kay Betz and Eric Byrd will present their business-building seminar, Encore Selling®, at 8:30 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. to an audience of the Entrepreneurs Exchange, and members of related organizations.  The general public is invited as well.  The location is The Green Building Institute, 7761 Waterloo Road, Jessup, Maryland 20794. 

The virtuoso pianist Leon Fleisher said that “Silence is not just nothingness.”  What he meant by that is that silence is an important organic component of music and of life itself, and it communicates to us.   Business leader Kay Betz, MBA and jazz pianist and Jazz Ambassador to South America, Eric Byrd, present Encore Selling®.  During their workshop they blend musical improvisation with the Outfluence sales communication model which is grounded in silent communication and Constant Messaging ™ to demonstrate a powerful yet natural way to establish “24/7” selling in your business and personal life.

Phil Mickelson lost his final round lead in the British Open golf tournament to the eventual winner Darren Clarke.  Mickelson bogied 5 of the final 9 holes, leading to his third place finish.  In an interview shortly after his loss in the PGA’s third of four major tournaments, Mickelson said this:  “It was a fun day.  Darren wasn’t going to make a mistake.  He played some great golf.” 

Phil Mickelson handles stressful situations with the grace of the champion he is.  In his public appearances he is always under control, always smiling, complimentary of his opponents, and honest about his performance.  He says that “The object of golf is not just to win.  It is to play like a gentleman, and win.”

The game of golf, like any other human activity, is filled with challenges and disappointments.  Professional golfers manage their challenges and their disappointments in front of millions of people.  Stress is ever-present.  So is ego.  People not blessed with high athletic ability or elevated positions in business but who work hard every day also suffer stress and also deal with ego.  They manage their challenges and their disappointments in front of family, in the workplace, and in the community.

The stress of an overinflated ego in which we believe our view of the world to be superior to everyone else’s view, or in which we believe our opinion on a topic is always the correct one, leads us to say and do things that we often later regret. 

We can learn from Phil Mickelson’s example.  He manages his ego and thus his stress by his thoughtful, purposeful, and sincere relationships with others, be it his family, his fellow professionals, the media, or the fans lining the fairways. 

Phil Mickelson’s successful world appears to be built on an easy smile, his memorable greeting, his willingness to listen to others, his others focus, and his ability to inspire his performance.  For more ideas on stress management look for our e-book Outfluence for Positive Stress, scheduled for publication the Fall of 2011.

I ran into an old friend recently.  He has been through a few significant health problems, one or two family problems, business setbacks.  Through it all, he maintains a positive attitude and wears his smile like a badge of honor.

Now, he’s a guy that knows how to handle stress.  When I asked him how he is able to deal with so many stressful situations so well, he said “It’s all part of life.  There are ups and downs, we all have ‘em, and we have no choice but to deal with them as best we can.” 

My friend manages enstress and distress the same way.  His smile is ever-present.  He doesn’t spend much time focusing on the rain clouds in his life.  Rather, he makes believe the rain clouds are sunshine and he keeps moving toward the light. 

Interesting.  How many times have we heard human beings talk about moving toward the light while they’re still alive?  Hey, the light isn’t just for dead people, or near-dead people.

Look for the light if you want to manage stress.  What’s the light?  Your dream.

For more information on stress, check back often, and look for our new e-book, Outfluence for Positive Stress, later this summer.

An important question these days . . . how do we deal with stress?  First, we have to understand that there are two kinds of stress, called enstress and distress.  Enstress is positive stress, the kind that motivates you to perform at your best.  Enstress pushes you to your limits.  Distress, on the other hand, is negative stress, the type of stress that overwhelms you, that pushes you past your limits into frustration and torment. 

Later this summer I will be releasing a new e-book, titled Outfluence for Positive Stress.  Here’s a preview.  In good times and in bad, we experience stress.  The current world situation is stressful to the point of distress.  To save yourself from being pushed into distress I recommend that you do three things: 

Avoid negative people.  Negative people enjoy involving others in their misery.  Take a few moments to assess a person’s situation and to encourage him.  However, if his negativity is impenetrable, you must move away. 

Connect, with positive people.  Albert Schweitzer was a humanitarian, a theologian, a missionary and a physician.  He said that occasionally darkness invades every person’s life, and our flame goes out but is blown again into instant flame by an encounter with another human being.  The stress brought about by the death of a loved one, for example, is assuaged by family and friends gathering to mourn and to celebrate life.  Avoid distress by finding uplifting people who will rekindle the flame in your heart.

Turn – turn lemons into lemonade.  We all make poor decisions, we make mistakes, bad things happen to good people.  But when we find ways to turn those negative moments into positive activities, we overcome stress.    

In other words, we have to A-C-T, we have to Act, we have to take action if we are to deal with stress.