Kay and I were in South Bend for the Notre Dame vs. Navy football game on Saturday.  As we toured the campus, everyone we met greeted us with a big smile and with the words,  “Welcome to Notre Dame!”  Parents of students were  thrilled that their children were attending this hallowed university, some to the point of visible emotion.  They couldn’t have been friendlier.  Returning graduates were heard telling stories, in some cases decades old, of their Notre Dame days.   

I thought man, these folks really have the Outfluence model down pat.  They know how to treat their guests. 

We went to the bookstore to purchase a few things and there we met Joe Probst.  He was playing the piano up on the second floor balcony.  You couldn’t miss him.  There he was as we walked in the front door to the bookstore.  Do you know that he has recorded a CD on which he plays a dozen unique versions of the Notre Dame Victory March?  He played a few versions of it for us.  What a cool guy Joe is.  He was playing the boogie-woogie version and his legs were pumping about as fast as they could go, keeping time as he flew up and down the keyboard.  Joe gave me a quick lesson, invited me to sit down and play with him (I wisely declined), and then told me a few stories about Notre Dame, I bought one of his CDs and we left feeling that warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you just know you’re in a good place.

Then we got to the stadium just as they were about to open the gates, and we heard the ushers gather around to sing “God Bless America.”   They sang it with such pride and such joy.  If you love your country and appreciate tradition, you just gotta love Notre Dame.

We got to our seats in the stadium.  We were in the 8th row from the field, just to the right of the goal post.  There I was in Notre Dame stadium, designed by Knute Rockne, revered initially through the  exploits of the Four Horsemen and carried forward by names like Hornung, Hanratty, Snow, Montana and so many more.

I grew up idolizing Notre Dame, just like all of my Catholic buddies who attended Holy Family School in Nazareth, Pennsylvania.  To see, 50 years later, that it truly measures up to what my childhood dreams of it were is gratifying.  Graduating from Notre Dame means something.  It’s a special place with special traditions.  People take care of each other there.   

No matter what the scoreboard said, Notre Dame was a big winner on Saturday.

This week’s Pearl is all about jobs.  The job market is not easily reached by the undereducated, the uninformed, the unmotivated, or the unskilled.  Jobs are also not found by those who educate themselves in topics for which the job market is barren. 

Survival in today’s job market requires options.  The way you acquire options is by expanding your skillset.  My favorite example of a person who expanded his skillset and created options in his career is the entertainer Steve Martin.  If you have followed me for a while, you have seen me mention Steve before.  People ask Steve how do you become successful in Hollywood.  He advises them to “become so good that they can’t ignore you.”  Steve Martin compels you to watch him.  He is an award winning actor, writer, musician, comedian.  He is so good that you cannot ignore him. 

Steve Martin is also a great communicator.  He is aware of those around him and the circumstances in which he places himself.  You never see his name in the tabloids.  His name is never associated with trouble.  He understands the impact of his silent communicators and he uses silent communication wisely.    

So, how can you develop not-to-be-ignored job security?  How can you develop options?  It requires a plan.

Millions of Americans are unemployed or underemployed.  I have two options for them to consider.  The first option is to identify the position they want.  Then develop a plan for achieving it.  I have outlined the plan for them in my e-book, Outfluence for Job Seekers.  It is available right here, www.outfluence.com, right now, for only $1.95 through November 30. 

My second option is to take a look at court reporting as a career.  One of the attractions of court reporting is that a person’s age is not an impediment to being hired.  In fact, men and women coming into court reporting as a second career are more attractive to employers because of the maturity and the life experience they bring to the position.  Jobs in court reporting, captioning, transcription, and CART are all available.  To learn more about this career and the people attracted to it I recommend that you purchase the e-book PowerWriters, also available right here, www.outfluence.com, right now, for only $1.95 through November.  It is also available in hard copy form through the National Court Reporters Association right here, http://image2.source4.com/welcome.asp.   

If you need coaching as you develop your plan, give us a call at 888-881-1660 or e-mail me at al.betz@outfluence.com.  Do it between now and November 30 when rates are low.  Now is the time for action.

People without filters are clueless offenders in a diverse workplace.  They speak without thinking about the consequences, leaving others to quietly suffer.  Diverse environments require understanding, compassion, cultural awareness, and self-control.

Benefits of Diversity and Sensitivity Training:

• Fewer Interpersonal Skirmishes 
• Knowledge of Cultural Differences Impact on Understanding
• Improved Workplace Communication

What You Will Learn:

• Triggers to control thought before speech
• Use of the non-judger muscle
• How to improve sensitivity to each other and to the public
• Silent communication and its emotional impact on others

Who Should Attend:

• Administrators
• Management
• Customer Service Professionals

 Silent Communicators in a Diverse Workplace is a 90-minute seminar.  Please call 888-881-1660 to acquire additional information about this seminar or to schedule an Outfluence public speaker.

I am in your head.  How did I get there?  Why am I in your head?

It’s the marketing paradigm for the 21^st century, and it’s called Constant Messaging®.  It’s also the silent determinator of relationships, and it’s controlled by our silent communication.  Through thoughtful, purposeful and genuine silent communication, I am in your head and I am persuading you to respond in a certain way to my sales effort, or I am in your head determining whether I want to hire you, date you, befriend you, or sit next to you in class.    

This is not astral projection or telekinesis where we are using our mind to leave our body or to move objects.  There is no magic to Constant Messaging.       

Constant Messaging is a component of the Outfluence communication process that we engage in purposely and, frequently, silently. It’s focused on the relationship between you and a current customer, on the budding connection between you and a prospective client, or on a developing personal bond.  Constant Messaging is working for you, or against you, every moment you are in the physical or cognitive presence of another human being.  The effectiveness of your Constant Messaging is determined by what you read, what you watch, the quality of your vocabulary, the people you associate with, the clothing you wear, the nature of your on-line activity, your writing ability, your performance. 

Focused, thoughtful and delivered genuinely, Constant Messaging is the strategic use of silence in offering your good will to another person.  In business good will is defined as intangible value created by a business which may be converted into tangible value. The value of good will is directly influenced by the performance of the business. Good will is an honest reflection of the character of a person. When people express their good will, they are expressing trust in their fellow community members and they are communicating respect for them. They are also signaling their fellow community members that “I’m trustworthy. I’m a good person.” Therefore, the value of good will is directly influenced by the performance of community members. 

Constant Messaging is expressed through silent communicators used in an employment interview.  It is expressed in the workplace via a quiet storm of silent communication aimed at creating a consistent culture or a consistent performance or a consistent presentation to customers and prospects.  Constant Messaging is also used in the school environment, from middle school through college, to help youngsters discover their own genius and their own communication styles, as well as to build awareness of perceptions of others who are observing students’ behavior and making judgments about them. 

I am in your head by design and I am in your head by observation of you.  I am in your head and I am making judgments about who you are as a person and whether I want to get to know you better.  Constant Messaging as a component of the Outfluence communication model is a powerful force in your life.  I am in your head.  

Do you know what your constant messages are communicating about you?  We can tell you.  Kay Betz, MBA, co-founder of Outfluence, LLC, is an expert in the practice of Constant Messaging.  Call 888-881-1660 or e-mail info@outfluence.com to schedule a comprehensive workshop for your organization with Kay.  Alternatively, contact Al at al.betz@outfluence.com to schedule a 30-minute coaching session with him.  In 30 minutes Al will use his expertise as the creator of Outfluence to evaluate your Constant Messaging status and suggest methods to improve it.

Envision your life in three segments.  The first segment is your youth, from birth to age 15.  The second segment is your personal development from age 16 to age 35.  The third segment is your family and your career from age 36 until you retire, and the rest of life is a bonus.

The challenge is to make it into the bonus round happy, reasonably healthy, financially stable, and with friends to help you enjoy it.

The first segment, youth, for much of it you are dependent on others.  You see, “others” – your parents, your relatives, your friends, your teachers, people you don’t know – lay the foundation for you.  It’s those “others” who set an example for you, “others” who teach you, “others” who guide you, “others” who discipline you, “others” whom you have to rely on.  If you’re lucky, you are born into a family that understands how life works.  They will expose you to interesting, educational, challenging opportunities that will help you develop your mind and your body.  If you’re real lucky, you will have the good sense to listen to them and realize that they’ve been down the road of life before you and they have every reason to steer you in the right direction and no reason to hurt you. 

If you’re not lucky, you are born into a family who ignored those opportunities when they were presented to them, or possibly the opportunities were never presented early enough in life, and therefore you are not getting the benefit of good information.  Timing and preparation are of course crucial to development.

Now, if you make it to age 16 with a good attitude and an excitement for learning, if you manage to escape your formative years with your confidence intact, the chances are excellent that you will begin to move in the right social circles and begin to make connections that will benefit you when the time is right.  See, there’s that timing and preparation thing again.

From age 36 until you retire you will enjoy great family relationships and great career experiences.  Life will be good.  Oh, there will be challenges along the way, but you should be able to navigate through them if you use the network of friends and professionals you’ve met along the way as well as the good mind you have developed.

If at 16 your attitude has been beaten to a pulp by disinterested parents, neighborhood bullies, lousy teachers, if at 16 you are well-entrenched into the seedy side of life – drugs, booze, crime – well, it’s pretty much over.  Unless you find someone to trust who can slowly bring you back, life at 16 and life at 65 will be pretty much the same – painful.  Hey, there are people all around you who will help to bring you back if you show them that you can be trusted and that you are serious.  Give them time to make their own assessment of you.  You’ll be asking a lot of them at that point.  They won’t want to waste their time.  Allow them to ask you the tough questions and to get to know you.       

Parents, show your teen this Pearl.  Then dad, you read this, dude.  Finally, invest $4.95 in your offspring and buy them this handy fun family booklet.

“Hey, dude, I’m a teenager. Whaddya expect from me? Kids my age tend to be a little raunchy at times. We like to hang with our buds and make fun of people. And video games . . . man, I live for video games! Pops says they make me angry — some of the games are a little violent, you know? But pops doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He says that I should fill my head with positive stuff and that I should start treating people with respect. He says what goes around comes around. He says stuff like you are who you associate with, and you get from the world what you put into the world. What the heck is he talking about, dude?”

Kids are smart, aren’t they? A teen who says these things to me is searching for the right path. He is obviously being swayed by peer pressure. We all went through that stage in our own development from a teenager into a young adult and then into adulthood. His comments about his dad and the fact that he remembers what his dad is suggesting to him are great signs. It tells us that he is listening. He is absorbing what his dad is trying to teach him. The boy’s instincts are good. We all, I believe, have the instinct to be good and we have the instinct to be bad. We will go one way or the other. Someone will teach us one behavior or the other. If parents don’t set a good example, if they do not teach their children how to be good citizens, then the kids turn to their peers. Sometimes they turn to kids who are a little older, kids who have learned how to manipulate and take advantage of a kid who is searching. That’s big trouble for the kid and for all of society.

This particular kid that we are focusing on today is asking, “Which way should I go?” Among the suggestions that I would have for him is that he begin to watch for silent messages both within himself and in the words and deeds of his friends. At his age his friends are everything to him. Peer pressure is strong. I would ask him to notice how he feels when he is around his friends. Do his friends make him feel good, happy, motivated, and challenged to accomplish positive things? Or do his friends make him feel uncomfortable, dirty, afraid, bored? How do other people react when they see him and his friends coming? Are they welcoming or are they repelled?

This kid is connected. He may be connected with the wrong crowd, but he isn’t sure. So I’d try to put him in a nonthreatening position where he has the tools to “read” the behavior of his friends. Then I’d let him know that if he wanted to talk to me about it, I’d be there for him. Even if he did not come to me, within a few days I would suggest Outfluence principles and behaviors that he could use to attract the type of people who would be positive forces in his life. I believe that if we provide our children with information and options, if we teach them about life, if we listen to them when they talk to us, they will make the correct choices.

Steve Jobs  used this analogy to describe what differentiated his products from all others:  ”When you’re a carpenter making a beautiful chest of drawers, you’re not going to use a piece of plywood on the back, even though it faces the wall and nobody will ever see it,” he said in the interview. “You’ll know it’s there, so you’re going to use a beautiful piece of wood on the back. For you to sleep well at night, the aesthetic, the quality, has to be carried all the way through.”

Outfluence has been invited to attend the 2011 Book Fest held in the beautiful Greetings & Readings book emporium in Hunt Valley, Maryland.  The Book Fest is scheduled from 1 to 4 p.m., Saturday, November 12.  Greetings & Readings will donate a portion of their book sales revenue to Habitat for Humanity-Maryland.  Outfluence will offer its 5 books for sale.

Outfluence co-founder Kay Betz is this evening attending her first meeting of the Board of Trustees of Carroll Lutheran Village as its newest member.  “The Village” is Carroll County’s third largest employer.

Albert Schweitzer was one of the 20^th Century’s most influential thinkers, honored by the Nobel Peace Prize in 1952.  Look at these amazing words he wrote years ago.

“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”

That’s one of our Outfluence goals: rekindling people’s inner spirit, helping them find their motivation. It is the essence of true citizenship. And this is what successful leaders in business do.  We call it an others focus, and we express our others focus through programs like Constant Messaging.

I don’t know most of you reading these words, but I do know a lot of personal things about all of you. That’s because we want, and need, the same things. We need personal validation. We yearn to feel connected. We want our lives to count.

Outfluence is an unusual business communication model.  People attracted to Outfluence are not saying “Show me the money!”  Instead, they are asking, “Show me how. Show me how to make a difference. Show me how to make my life count.”  It just so happens that Outfluence is also a financially successful business communication model.  

Leaders understand that people will follow and learn only when they feel that their deepest longings are heard and validated.  Unfortunately, in America today many of its citizens aren’t feeling heard nor are they feeling validated by their leaders.  People are exhibiting the loss of their inner fire.  They are exhibiting it by their protests, by their anger, by their frustration, by their poor behavior.  And they’re waiting.  They are waiting for their flame to be reignited by a leader. 

If you want to lead, if you have an others focus, if you want to learn how to make a difference, join the Outfluence rekindlers.  Sign up on our home page to receive our free newsletter, and we will send you a free gift that will help you, your family, and your business get started.