As the meeting of business owners began, the speaker asked this question:  “Are you finding that it is difficult to convince people to spend money these days?”  Everyone agreed that it is difficult to convince people to spend money these days.

The question caused me to think about my attitude as I approach a prospect for my services.  Am I trying to convince him to spend his money with me or am I trying to express myself clearly enough to enable him to understand what my business can do for him?

In a social gathering today my wife was asked what Outfluence is.  She replied, Outfluence is a communication concept.  It is comprised of three elements:  Silent Communication, Constant Messaging®, and Inspired Performance.  That’s where the communication process begins.  Over time, a prospective customer will learn more about my company and will eventually see something valuable in it for himself, or he won’t.  The customer will convince himself to spend money. 

The worst things a salesperson can do for a customer are the things the customer could and should do for himself.  In other words, allow the customer to decide whether or not to spend money with you by allowing the customer to learn about your company.  Communicate effectively with your customer, and remember that a large part of your effectiveness will be in the 70% of communication that is conducted in silence.

I read an article and watched a video, both of which moved me in different ways. 

• The article was about the “preppers,” a group of people preparing for the end of America as we know it.  They believe that the collapse of the economy is inevitable, that chaos will rule the streets, that our survival will depend on what we do now to prepare. 
• The video was the resignation announcement by Gabby Giffords, the Arizona Congresswoman who was shot and severely wounded one year ago.  Her strength of spirit, her hope for the future of our country, and her passion for service are what America is all about.  “I’ll be back; I just need time to heal” was the message to her constituents. 

Congresswoman Gifford’s message is a message for America:  We’ll be back; we just need time to heal.

The Preppers’ message is one of failure, of settling for circumstances, of just waiting for bad to arrive.

It’s easy to follow the Preppers’ message and move toward negativity.  Anybody can complain.  Anybody can quit.  It’s so easy to fall into the habit of losing.  Do nothing about your situation and wait for the inevitable.  We all can succeed at that.

But the message of hope requires a passionate response.  The message of hope requires that we keep fighting to find a way up.  We’ll be back; we just need time to heal.

As Congresswoman Giffords teaches us by her inspired performance, first we acquire the attitude of a winner.  Next we devise a plan.  Then we set some goals.  That’s how we heal.  Finally, we spring into action.  For our action to move us forward we must learn to communicate effectively and to elevate our performance.   

Today is the first day of the rest of your life – find a way to inspire it!

Kiefer Sutherland will soon return to television in a drama called “Touch.”  He will play the role of the father of “Jake,” a 10-year-old boy who does not speak and doesn’t communicate in any traditional way, according to an article in the New York Times Television Section (http://nyti.ms/yX2gtS).  The point of the show is that raising a child with a profound disability is challenging, with the primary challenge being to figure out ways to connect with the child, to discover the intelligence “behind the eyes.”

People without profound disabilities also have communication challenges.  Lack of confidence, social awkwardness and fear of failure contribute to an inability to effectively communicate.  Truth told, we all experience fear, we all will admit to areas of social discomfort.  Some of us develop techniques for masking our fears and some of us learn methods to manage discomfort. 

A recognized method for dealing with communication challenges is to develop silent communication skills.  Silent communication is a form of communication that can be used to release what is behind the eyes of a less skilled communicator.  It is a tool that can be used to initiate a conversation when we feel intimidated by others, or are disquieted by a social situation.  Awareness of silent communication can also help to uncover a potentially dangerous situation. 

Silent communicators are found in a face-to-face greeting, in an e-mail, in a phone call, at a networking event, in a business meeting.  For example, a simple but powerful silent communicator is found in a sincere smile.  A sincere smile reveals an incredible amount of information about you.  It tells the recipient of your smile that you are happy, that you are likely to be honest and open, that you grew up in a supportive home, that you live in a happy environment, that you are easy to talk to and nonthreatening, and more.  A less than sincere smile says just the opposite about you.

A more complex silent communicator is found in the Outfluence Conflict Resolution course where we teach young adults why and how to LEAVE a potentially dangerous situation.  We instruct them to remember a simple acronym when they enter a new situation and to respond to what they hear and see: 

L – Listen.  E – Emotion.  A – Action.  V – Violence.  E – Exit.

We also teach them to remain CALM in family situations that arise, and to observe the Outfluence FIVE-minute rule for the workplace.  Each course focuses on the silent communicators in situations and how to respond to them.

The object of many of the Outfluence workshops and materials is to teach people how to communicate the silence behind their eyes as well as how to interpret the silence in the eyes of others.  Like “Jake,” some of us communicate in nontraditional ways.  Silent communication, although it represents 70% of all communication, has been viewed as nontraditional communication.  Only recently has it come into mainstream view with books such as Outfluence, The Better Way to Influence.

February 10, 2012.  Outfluence has been invited to train a 70-person staff to understand the impact of silent communicators in a diverse workplace. 

Thoughtful communication builds relationships to create an effective organization.  In a diverse workplace awareness of silent communication and its impact on others leads to a culture of acceptance and an environment in which encouragement of others is prioritized. 

Which inputs can be avoided; which can be controlled?  What kinds of inputs will help us become more thoughtful communicators?

For more information about this workshop for your organization, please contact Outfluence at 888-881-1660 or send an inquiry to training@outfluence.com.

February 1, 2012.  Teaching students job seeking skills is an expertise Outfluence owns.  Our book, Outfluence for Job Seekers, is recognized as an authoritative guide for high school and trade school students as well as in the traditional college environment.  Outfluence members will participate today in a Resume Writing and Interview Tips Advisory program at South River High School in Annapolis, Maryland.

Kay Betz, MBA and co-founder of Outfluence, loves to speak about what she calls The Seven Attributes of Contemporary Communication.  In this the first Pearl of the Week of year 2012 I thought I would share some of her wisdom. 

Communication is fascinating.  It is more complex than we realize.  It goes beyond the particular individual words we speak or write.  It involves more than those words themselves.  The impact of communication cannot be underestimated.  It’s how we learn, teach, share information in business, organizations, associations, and, of course, in our families, and on a personal level it’s how we develop, enhance, and, too often, destroy relationships.

Kay feels confident asserting that communication dominates our lives.

Communication is initiated as a result of a stimulus of some sort – a feeling, an impression, an observation – something that produces a thought.  The thought is the first element of communication.  Remember that the thought begins with a stimulus, and it really doesn’t become formulated until we begin to examine the thought within ourselves in order to communicate the thought to someone else.  Communicating the thought necessitates formulating the thought into words – a process we call encoding.

In the encoding process the message is created.  Encoding is important because this is our first time we have an opportunity to create accuracy in the message.  Selecting the proper words creates precise meaning.  How many times have you stated, or heard, the declaration, “I know that’s what I said, but that’s not what I meant!” 

Kay goes on to teach her audience the next element of in-person communication which is transmitting the message, followed by perhaps the most important element of communication, the decoding of our message by the recipient of our message and his formulation of a response. 

Think back to the beginning of the communication process.  The source or initiator of the communication process was the target, so to speak, of some sort of stimulus.  Now the baton has been passed from the initiator to the recipient; the recipient now becomes the initiator of a message because he takes the thought response and encodes a “feedback” message.

Kay uses several illustrations and personal anecdotes to express The Seven Attributes of Contemporary Communication.  If you would like to schedule Kay to speak to your company or your organization, she can be reached at training@outfluence.com or at 888-881-1660.  Best wishes for a happy, healthy and successful year.