What's Next After Hugging, Kissing and Touching? Spread of the Coronavirus, and frankly flu season, are causing us to re-think how we greet people. No more hugging, no more kissing, no more touching. So, what are our options?
The concept of silent communication was introduced in my book Outfluence, The Better Way to Influence. Let’s take a look at three examples of how silent communication can be a powerful substitute for words, or even touch.
Scenario one:
A man slowly moves to one knee, reaches into his pocket, and retrieves a small box. He looks up into the eyes of the woman he loves. In an instant, she realizes what this silent communication means. With the suddenness of a lightning bolt in the nighttime sky, her boyfriend is about to propose marriage.
Scenario two:
Have you ever noticed that silent communication accompanies a musical performance? One of the most inspiring concerts I have ever experienced was most memorable because of the inaudible aspects of that performance. Kenny G is a renowned saxophonist who uses Outfluence brilliantly. I call Kenny G’s version of Outfluence the “G Effect.”
During a 1997 concert, I was mesmerized at the magic of Outfluence demonstrated on the stage before me. As with any professional at the top of his craft, Kenny makes his performance appear effortless. While playing with perfection – his fingering precise, his vocalization smooth and compelling – he also uses facial expressions and body language to great effect as he communicates with his audience while inspiring the saxophone.
The business guru, Peter Drucker, defines marketing as “the creation of a customer.” Kenny G used his performance to create more customers. He entertained us in the concert hall with his music, and he marketed his brand through silent communication. His eye contact with as many audience members as his eyes could reach personalized his music. He directed his attention during the evening to every corner of the theater, allowing everyone an opportunity to make a personal connection with the artist. Kenny G has soft features and an engaging smile. His eyes sparkle as he plays and smiles simultaneously.
His gifts are extraordinary, but his ability to coalesce them into a stunning musical delight and a silent personal relationship with his audience is unmatched in my experience. By the end of the performance, the greeting part of the evening is effectively over and everyone can gather at the back of the performance hall where fans can purchase memorabilia.
Scenario three:
Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright was called an "unparalleled Serpent" by the Iraqi dictator, Saddam Hussein. This sparked an idea in Secretary Albright and at the next meeting with Hussein she wore a golden snake brooch to remind him with whom he was dealing. She created similar pieces of jewelry based on comments by other world leaders to remind them of the comments they were known to make of the Secretary, positive as well as negative. She probably still shook hands with all of her meeting partners, as was the custom, but her silent communication was a powerful tool in setting the tone of the meeting.
The point of these stories is that creative greetings can be much more productive than an awkward kiss, hug or touch. A simple bow of the head works well, too. To avoid the awkward moment altogether simply make it a point to carry something in your hands, at which point a warm smile and a few friendly words makes for a memorable greeting. A compliment on the selection of the location of the meeting, or a comment about a nice accessory you notice that your associate is wearing, if sincerely delivered, will also be well received.
The truth is that sooner than later, old greeting customs will end and new ones more comfortable in today's culture will replace them. Sincerity of the greeting, not the act itself, is the key to making the people you meet feel welcomed.
Learn more about Coronavirus and Guidelines for the Workplace from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC)
Photo Credit: Unsplash @eyeforebony